I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
