walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
