He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
