it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
