i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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