i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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