It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
