...so i touched it.
love makes seman taste better
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
