Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize