just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
