I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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