Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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