There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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