oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize