Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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