**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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