Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
