I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
