I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize