You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
