I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
