i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
