remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
