There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
