I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
