bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
