I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
