I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
