I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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