well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
