I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
