yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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