Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
