My room smells like vodka and shame
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
