i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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