he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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