i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
