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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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