I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
