it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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