dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize