More tranny stories later!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
