Where is the hickey?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize