I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just high enough for therapy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
