She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
