so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
