what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
