Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
