id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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