I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
