awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize