Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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