So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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