Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
