So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
