So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Never joke about your clitoris.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize