We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
