I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
