a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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