I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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