STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
