you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
well you can't waste a boner
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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