Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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