I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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