Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
