Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
