I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
