we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
