It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
