You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
