He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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