Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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