Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
