Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
